Settling In
We have settled in since our first week. We are all growing in comfortability with daily routines. The Embassy seems to have our acclimation process running like a well oiled machine. Miles and I have been thoroughly prepared for what to expect while living in Dhaka. From social events to orientations to tours, we feel well equipped to embrace our time living here.
Miles enjoys the work he’s doing. He says it is challenging and meaningful. The kids and I have gotten to visit him several times, and whenever I turn around, there is a line of women who want to hold the baby.
The heavy thunderstorms have rolled over and ended. The first time that I heard them, it was the middle of the night and I thought we were having an earthquake. The heavy rains have also stopped. With that, the mosquitoes have come out. We spray repellant on us regularly and minimize our time standing outside as much as possible. There is also an increase of stray dogs and cats. Nearly anything you can imagine is moved throughout the city using open bed trucks. Last weekend, we saw our first open bed of cows being moved through the city. The combination of animals, condensed traffic, and stagnant air creates a pungent smell in the roadways.
Inside, I have been slowly moving around furniture and preparing a play room for when our shipments arrive. I have hosted a few playdates with other Embassy families. It is reassuring to see how well our family fits into the community. Additionally, we were able to tour a potential schooling option. We were impressed by the Headmaster who reassured us that there was a place for us, should we decide to enroll.
Here are some answers to frequently asked questions that we get about living in Dhaka. The food that we are eating is mostly the same as back home. It is easy at grocery stores and restaurants to find Western food. Similar to home, there are lots of restaurants that cook the local version of Mexican, Thai, and Chinese food. It is hard to find pork in the grocery store, but Western-owned restaurants do serve it. Many social events put on by the Embassy surround themed meals. The biggest change is that the portions here are small and spicy, even if they are not marked on a menu for spice. Even individual ingredients, like onions, are smaller here. The two biggest confusions are that, one, ingredients here are different, and two, the names of food here, even in English, often mean something different. Both can lead to food tasting and being completely different than what you thought you were ordering. For example, hamburgers here are grilled chicken sandwiches while smashburgers contain beef patties. The majority of our meals are made at home, so most of the time we eat as we normally would, and the food tastes as it does in the States.
In many ways, the cultural and societal norms are more formal than in the United States. I am always addressed by ‘Ma’am’. If I am accompanied by Miles, I am referred to as ‘The Madaam’. In return, we also call others by ‘Ma’am’ and ‘Sir’. While it is crowded here, men keep a decent distance from me. Women will come much closer, especially if I have Max with me.
Seeing women in Burqas and Hijabs is common. It is also normal to see women who do not cover their heads or faces at all. Embassy staff and accompanied families are not suggested or required to cover our heads. There are several international universities in our area, so seeing women who appear to be Eastern Asian is also common. Most women wear tunics with matching pants and thin scarves. Being close to India, there are Hindi women who wear rhinestone tunics. The patterns and the vibrancy of the colors worn here are much bolder than in the United States.
Mens’ dress also varies. Long shirts and sleeves protect from the sun, and bright patterns can also be seen on men. Muslim men will wear Kufis, brimless head coverings that cover the hair line, and simple Thobes, ankle length loose fitting robes. Sunnah Muslim men dye their beards and tips of their hair orange. The orange dye can be a devotional sign of following the Sunnah, the traditions and actions of the Islamic Prophet Muhammad, or can be an outward sign of a man who has completed the Hajj, the pilgrimage to Mecca. Both men and women wear sandals, even among those seen doing manual labor or pulling rickshaws. It is common to see two men or two women holding hands as a sign of friendship. It is uncommon to see couples holding hands or showing any public affection.
All of the businesses have English names. Miles and I have enjoyed the English translated names. There are businesses like “Hair Zone” and “Clothes Place”. Parking garages are common here and so is double wide parking that spills into the streets.
A highlight of this week was attending a brunch on my own. My chocolate milk came in a large wine glass rimmed with chocolate syrup and held an espresso ice cube molded into a bear. It was my first time finding Italian pasta. I ordered a mushroom and spinach carbonara and a nutella crepe to take home to share. I enjoyed my quiet drive over and eating at a leisurely pace. The real highlight was hearing squeals and running footsteps as I approached our front door.
Lastly, we have found a place to go to Mass that we enjoy. The Catholic community is small and we are getting to know some parishioners. We celebrated the Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary this weekend, and the church was lavishly incensed. Driving home, our car became jammed in traffic. As I looked out of the window, I saw a woman with her young, sleeping son sprawled across her lap. He was nearly naked and she had her head in her hands in an expression of agony. She looked directly into my eyes, and the image of a modern-day Madonna of the Streets burned in my memory.
